Online Dating Tips

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It’s hard enough to know what to talk about when you are introduced to someone through a mutual friend, but how do you know what to talk about when you’re introduced through an online dating service?

One of the first keys is to make sure that you read the persons profile! You’re initial conversations can start off highlighting some things you’ve read there and it will give you a place to start at least!

Here are some tips about communicating through an online dating service:

• Improved Matches: If you’re not clear in your profile what you’re looking for you’re liable to get all sorts of communications. If you live in Maine chances are pretty good you’re not much interested in meeting someone in Arizona! This goes for not only location, but such things as age, interests, and even whether or not they should be married or single. Like it or not the online dating scene is open to all, regardless of their marital status.

• Create a good subject header: A header on your online dating profile that says ‘what you are looking for is out there and it’s worth the wait’ might not be a great start – something like ‘Single man/woman seeking single woman/man for friendship only’ is ok (if that’s what you’re looking for) and will net hundreds of emails from folks trying to convince you that you can find more than friendship! A header that says ’35 year old man/woman seeking same within 30 miles of Wells Maine’ is probably going to get fewer results but will be closer to home. Use some imagination, but filtering will prevent you from getting hundreds of responses that you don’t want to deal with!

• Don’t be afraid to express your interest: Many online dating sites offer you an opportunity to send ‘winks’, ‘smiles’, ‘flowers’, etc. – and though most are charging a fee for these added extras they allow you to let someone know what you’re thinking!

• Use proper grammar: This one is for guys and gals: the person you’re chatting with that you met through the online dating service isn’t ‘stud’ or ‘baby’ or ‘cutie’ or ‘hottie’ – (unless of course they’ve chosen this for their online profile name) – even if you don’t know their real name at least use the name they’ve used for their profile!

• Show some respect! What is it about being able to chat with someone you don’t know - who doesn’t know you - that brings out the street kid in all of us? Be nice! Treat the person you meet through online dating the same way you’d treat someone your best friend introduced you to! Let’s face it – if you met someone face to face and you lost interest in them you wouldn’t just vanish into the woodwork would you? It shouldn’t be any different with someone you meet through an online dating service. A brief note saying you are pursuing other matches or something similar will suffice but don’t’ just stop communicating with no explanation.

• Having fun with that online match? Let them know that!! One of the biggest complaints from men and women is that there seems to be an overall lack of communication. We strive daily in our everyday lives to overcome this – let that lesson carry over to your online dating service matches when you communicate online! If you’re enjoying your communication with someone, let them know that!! You don’t have to gush (unless you’re a gusher) but make it clear you’re enjoying your interaction with them.

• Answer a question/Ask a question: if the person you’ve met through an online dating service asks you questions, ask one back. If you do nothing more than answer the questions they’ve asked you could likely find yourself at a dead-stop in the conversation! Think about the types of questions you’d be asking a person if you met face to face!

• Good communication begins with the profiles! Make sure to review the person’s online dating profile often! Sometimes they’re updated – even if they are not, they can often provide you keys to opening new lines of communication – for instance if the person says they love to ski you can ask how long they’ve been skiing, etc.

• Leave your aggressiveness in your other suit! Both men and women under the veil of the anonymity of an online dating service can turn what might have been a nice chat into an aggressive conversation! Be careful. This is true not only during your online dating service chats, but also when you meet for the first time! Not that you shouldn’t be yourself, but don’t turn a person off by coming on too strong.

• Remember who you are there with! If you’re meeting someone that you were introduced to through an online dating service face to face for the first time, remember who you are there with! Keep your attention focused on the person you’re with, not wandering all over the room looking at every other person there. Nothing is more intimidating to another man or woman than feeling like they’re being compared to everyone else!

• Past relationships: it’s probably not a good topic. When you meet someone through an online dating service, there’s little doubt in either of your minds that you’ve both had prior relationships. Steer clear of these conversations until you really know the person a lot better. Keeping your conversations (and your first dates) positive and upbeat is wise – remember we all have baggage, but this is a fresh start for both of you!

• You’ve met, how what? Did you enjoy your first date with your online dating service match-up? Let them know that! Just like first dates with people you meet outside of online dating services, you should let people know if you had a good time – you should also let them know if you feel that it’s just not a good match – be honest.

There’s no reason in the world that your online dating experience shouldn’t be positive in all aspects. Good communication will certainly help!