Online Dating Tips

You’re browsing through the hundreds of online dating services and you’ve discovered some of them use online compatibility testing to beef up your profile and help you find the perfect match. But, you also noticed that this isn’t a freebie, it’s going to cost you some money! Is it worth it? Can you afford to (or afford not to?) use a compatibility test? This isn’t one of those yes/no questions.

• Do you have time to research these online dating sites? A compatibility test is a rather substantial investment of both time and money – you are going to have to follow up on the results of the test, but before that, you’re going to have to check out the reliability of the tests you’re taking as well. You want to first understand what the test is and make sure you’re comfortable with it.

• Are your expectations realistic? Simply put if you think you’re going to find the perfect mate by using a compatibility test, think again! No-one is perfect! While these tests might offer you some insight into the personality and attitudes of people, most online dating services will tell you that these results shouldn’t be the basis for you determining if you should pursue a relationship with someone!

• What type of relationship are you seeking? If you’re like thousands of people out there who are not looking for a life partner, but rather friendship and other non-permanent relationships, chances are that a compatibility test on any online dating service isn’t likely to help you! You can use the compatibility tests offered at online dating services if you’re trying to find those who have interest in only long term relationships, as this will narrow the field of availability.

• Be prepared for the results! You may not like what you find out about yourself when you take a compatibility test from an online dating service! Keep in mind that these are primarily personality tests, and you may not particularly care to hear the ‘clinical and objective’ assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. If you’re not ready to see yourself in the clear light of day, compatibility testing might not be right for you!

• Be slightly skeptical about online personality and compatibility tests. You may want to think about some of these things before you decide to log on and pay your online dating service a huge fee for a compatibility test:

A) Who wrote the test? Find out if possible if the person who wrote the test has some background or experience with psychological testing. Don’t automatically assume because you see Ph.D. after (or before) their name that the person who put this test on the online dating service is qualified to be putting the test together.

B) What’s the theory? If the compatibility test isn’t skewed all one way or all another way. In other words, if the theory that your online dating service subscribes to is that opposites attract and the only matches you’ll get are completely opposite you then run – don’t walk – away from that compatibility test. By the same token, if your online dating service feels that a perfect match in all aspects of personality, etc., is your best match then you should avoid this one too. Lengthy research has proven that romantic partners tend to have some traits and qualities that are similar and some that are dissimilar. Don’t take a compatibility test on any online dating service that is too rigid either way.

C) Don’t be swayed by testimonials – take them for what they are – the public relations of marketing the online dating site! If you’re thinking about an online dating services compatibility testing, don’t hesitate to ask them if it was constructed in accordance with professional standards. If the online dating service won’t provide you with scientific documentation – stay away!

Compatibility tests are not ever to be used as a substitute for meeting and getting to know someone – they’re a good tool to help the process, but certainly not the be all and end all. Evaluating a persons relationship potential on an emotional and intellectual level can be somewhat evaluated using a compatibility test, but don’t look at them as if they are the answer to all of your online dating expectations – there are millions of people who are active on online dating sites and many of them have never used a compatibility test.

*Cartoon from Bill McLemore from “McLemore’s World”