Watching Out for Red Flags

Red flags are defined as those little comments made by someone you are communicating with that make you feel uneasy as though something is not quite right. You may notice that something is said or that certain characteristics and behaviors come out that make you think twice about pursuing anything with that individual.

One of the reasons it is so important to use the e-mail and other communication tools within the online dating service instead of your personal accounts is that many times, these red flags take weeks to months to show. Therefore, while you are learning about this person, you are protecting yourself. The information below is just a few examples of what would constitute a red flag. Some of these may seem like a no-brainer to you but it is important that you keep your mind open even to the subtle indicators.

If the person provides you with inconsistent information regarding interests, marital status, profession, family, age, employment, and so on, start taking note of the various things to see if you simply misunderstood or if the truth is being stretched.
If the person does not provide you with direct answers, you should be asking yourself why
The individual seems interested in you but after meeting, he or she makes up excuses to not introduce you to family and friends
Seems to become irritated or angry easily – look for passive-aggressive behavior
Attempts to put pressure on you – perhaps he or she is persistent in getting your phone number, your address, information about your work, your family, your children, or wants to meet you now
Makes demeaning or condescending comments about you, his or her family, friends, or co-workers

Continued on page 2: Watching Out for Red Flags